In this article I would like to
propose how I would address same sex unions. I have been noticing that our
present approach of making laws against same sex marriages, and generally being
against them, isn’t working, and I would like to discuss how I would address
them.
I would like to emphasize
persuasion. That is something we have a wonderful megaphone for. Here are some
ideas I have to be persuasive, in no particular order:
1. Make our position known to
both Catholics and non-Catholics: Our position is for opposite sex marriage and
is very much supported by Scripture and Tradition. Our position is also that
same sex attracted people are loved Children of God and are subjected to rights
and responsibilities. The same sex attracted person can never marry another
person of the same sex. Make that very clear. Use all the means of communication
to put that point across.
2. Ministering to same sex
attracted people: The people that I see every week in a Courage meeting for
same sex attracted people share that their life in the gay subculture was very
unsatisfying and very shallow, and that they saw the Church as being a firm anchor
for their spiritual lives, and indeed their total life. The Church is asking a
great deal from them: total chastity. I think we must provide great support for
them. I think we must strive to have a Courage meeting in as many parishes as
are possible. I think we should strive to provide good role models for them.
One such role model would be Father Mychal Judge who admitted to being gay but,
as far as I know, was chaste, and was famous for dying at the twin towers in
9-11.
Now Father Judge did have one
problem: he was supportive of Dignity, which wants to change the Church's
position in this regard. I would not be supportive of that. We can support the
legitimate aspirations of our gay Catholic brothers and sisters to not be attacked
and to not be discriminated against in hiring or housing. We would most assuredly
draw the line at marriage.
3. Traditional Marriage: The
emphasis on same sex marriage would leave a visitor from Mars thinking that
traditional marriage is just fine. As a working parish priest I know this is not
so. The hook-up culture, the number of people living together, the number of unmarried
mothers, and the high rate of divorce add up to a problem of monumental proportions.
Can the Church in the United States
address this as a Church? Can we improve marriage preparation? Can we address
marriage in poverty and help with a multitude of aids, from help in job
training to baby care?
I offer this with great humility,
as I don’t pretend to have the answer. Maybe this is a start.
—Father Mike Van Cleve
Father
Mike is a priest for the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston.
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